Frayed String
by Masai23
Summary: "You can't imagine it." She snaps, "You can't imagine how it feels to hear your name being screamed, over and over. And all you can do is sit there and listen to it and hope it stops soon." - RukoxTaya, ?x?, rated for violence and sexual content.
1. Stonewall

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vocaloid, UTAU or any of the characters written about in this story.**

**Warning: This story is rated Mature for violence, sexual themes and language. If you are offended easily by these subjects, it is recommended you do not continue reading.**

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><p>"I'd rather have barley than rice..."<p>

Staring down at the solid red tray of mashed potatoes sitting in front of her, Ruko Yokune knew that arguing over her meals wasn't going to change them. After all, when you are admitted to the hospital, the choice of food should be the least important thing in your mind. For now, though, Ruko was attempting to make it the _most_ important thing.

Food, food, food. She tried to think of nothing but food. What food was she going to eat when she got home? What snacks did they need to get? Did the others manage to find and devour her secret stash while she wasn't looking? All of these questions buzzed in her mind, despite their seemingly needed existence. It was better this way, she thought, thinking of food and such. It kept her mind off of...

It kept her mind off.

Heaving a large amount of air into her chest, the VIPPERloid sucked in a long breath before reaching down and taking the fork out of the mound of plain, bland potatoes before digging into the white, flaky meal and stuffing it into her mouth. She was starving, but hadn't had the stomach needed to start choking down food until today. Whether or not this would come back to haunt her later, she didn't know and, frankly, didn't care to know.

Her mind wandered for a moment to when she would be able to leave this place. It was sure to be any day now, she thought. But the thought of leaving haunted her, because she shouldn't have to be leaving alone. Someone else should be with her, right? Yes, someone else should be...

"Ruko!"

Those thoughts were quickly done away with as the door banged open and a girl with pink hair styled into drill-like shapes came rushing into the room, making a dash for her friend without a second thought.

"You're okay! You're okay!" She cried, running to the bedside and throwing her arms around the bedridden girl with so much force that she nearly knocked the mashed potatoes into her lap. From the door came others stepping inside, not quite as brave as the girl before them. A tall male who looked much like the girl, pink hair and all, walked inside sternly, fiddling with his long ponytail.

After that, a steady stream of friends and distant relatives walked inside together. A girl with pink hair, in a maid's dress. One with purple hair and beret. A butler with long, black hair. An ambiguous young man. A girl with bunny-eared headphones. And finally, a rather tall male with a streak of red in his hair, much like the streak of blue Ruko had dyed into her own.

Surrounding the bed were her friends, however many shapes and sizes they came in. They all looked upon her with worry. This person whom was one of their closest friends now seemed foreign and unknown to them. A strange figure dressed in nothing but a white hospital gown, the blankets pulled tightly around her. Protectively.

"Teto, let go of her." The pink-haired male ordered, reaching and placing his hand gently on her shoulder. Teto looked to him for a moment, confused. Shouldn't they be happy that Ruko was back with them?

"But Ted..." She started, pouting childishly before letting Ruko free of the death grip and stepping away from the bed. It was then that she noticed how Ruko's body had tensed up suddenly. Had she done that? She hadn't meant to frighten her...

"...All of you. Back up."

Exchanging glances with one another, the nervous group quickly took one, two, three steps away from the bed. Their eyes hardly left her as they did so, and this only seemed to irk her further, but she said nothing. Taking the tray of half-eaten potatoes, Ruko set it onto the table beside her bed before grabbing the blankets and pulling them up higher around her, until only her neck and her face were visible above the pale green sheets. She didn't like how many of them had come in at once, even if they hadn't meant any harm.

"...That's better." Her voice was cold and solid. Like stone, even.

For a long moment after that, silence seemed to reign supreme over the room as everyone attempted to pluck up enough courage to speak. It seemed like an eternity before finally, the man in the butler suit took a very small step forward and spoke in a young but regal voice. "We have been worried sick over this entire thing...But, we are very glad that you are safe."

"Y-Yes!" Interrupted the girl in the maid suit, "We did everything we could!"

Looking from one to the other, Ruko briefly felt as though she might snicker. She could remember when those two had never wished to work together, and yet here they were, virtually everywhere together. Yes, it almost made her want to laugh, but nothing came out. Her face was still a stoney expression.

More silence.

Teto curled up into her brother's figure, uncertain of what to say. He looked nearly as clueless as her in all but expression. He wanted to be strong and to be there for everyone, but it was hard when they hardly knew where the bombs in this minefield of conversation had been placed.

The boy with the platform shoes and the red streak in his hair stepped close to the bed, closer than any of the others dared. His face was filled with worry and questioning. Carefully, so as not to cause a commotion, he made his way to the very side of the bed, before kneeling down on one leg, then finally sitting on both his knees so as to make himself level with Ruko.

He stared at her with intent to ask questions, and she stared back with the intent not to _answer_ questions.

"Ruko...What happened...?

"Nothing happened." She answered without hesitation. As though such a response had been planned out ahead of time.

He furrowed his brow at her, gripping onto the bedsheets. "No, something _did_ happen! The police came and told us you were taken!'

"I wasn't taken, Rook.."

"You were! And Taya was too!"

_No._

Without warning, Ruko threw her blanket off of her and pushed Rook off of the bed as hard as she could. He fell backwards in his awkward position, and his high platform shoes only gained him the advantage of twisting his ankle when he tried to stop himself until he rested, in pain, on the cold floor.

"Rook! A-Are you alright!"

Momo, the maid girl, knelt down to him and quickly assisted in lifting his head off of the unforgiving tile. He didn't want to be helped though, he wanted to keep talking to Ruko, to his _sister._

"I'm fine Momo, let me go!" He pushed her gently away from himself before sitting up, looking to Ruko who was now breathing hard and looking ready to push him back down again if he tried to go near her again. He didn't care if she pushed him down a thousand times, he wanted to know what had happened. Rook was her confident, her other half. He could feel things the others knew nothing of. He knew more of what had happened than he might let on, even.

"Ruko-" He stood with a distinct wobble, his left ankle aching and his back stiff and in pain. Rook started back towards the bed a second time before he found himself being restrained by Defoko and Luna on either side of him. "Let me go! I want to talk to her! Ruko, please! Ruko! Ruko!"

"_Ruko! Ruko!"_

She shut her eyes and tried to block out the sound of her brother yelling and flailing as he was dragged forcibly out of the room before anyone could get hurt. He sounded too much like someone he wasn't, and too close to someone she recognized.

Maybe later, regret would fill her after realizing what she'd done, but for now, Ruko felt satisfied to have made him go away. He'd mentioned that name. That name she didn't want to hear for now. That time she would rather forget.

The remaining visitors exited her room quickly and quietly, without a 'goodbye' or a 'see you later'. Serves them fine, she thought, pulling herself deep beneath the blankets of the bed and closing her eyes.

She didn't want to talk, she wanted to sleep.

_"Ruko!"_

To sleep and forget.

_"And Taya was too!"_

In the safety and warmth of the white room and the white bed and the white blankets, nothing was wrong.

_"Nothing happened."_


	2. Reunion

The next time Ruko opened her eyes, sunlight had ceased pouring into the room through the window in favor of the glimmering streetlights and the pale white moon. She briefly wondered how long she had slept before pulling herself out from under the blankets and taking a look around. No one else seemed to be here now, which gave her a sense of ease. She didn't want to face the others for as long as possible.

Sitting herself upright, Ruko swung her long legs over the side of the bed and stayed in her spot, eyes trained to the darkened window. Something that felt like regret flooded her when she thought back to that afternoon. She hadn't meant to hurt Rook, she'd just wanted him to go away, to not be so..._close._

_"How long will it be before I can trust anyone to be close...?"_

A sad sound left her lips before she realized that now was the time for her to act. If she was careful and quiet enough, she was certain that she could sneak into the room right next to her own. Even if she did get caught, Ruko didn't rightly care. She wanted to see _him_...

She stood herself up suddenly, wobbling before finding her balance and taking a step forward. No alarms went off, no doctors came rushing inside...

Was it safe to assume that she was in the clear?

As she stepped closer and closer to the door, the disoriented girl reached behind herself and pulled her hospital gown tightly closed around her, retying the string on the back to ensure it didn't come off. Wearing this thing had become a nuisance as well as fueled good reason behind her dislike of having people around her, but she'd rather wear this then what she'd come into the building with.

With the delicate touch of a spy, Ruko slipped her hand around the doorknob and turned it as slowly as she could. The door made an obnoxiously loud click when it finally opened entirely, much to her dismay. But a minute or two passed and no one came to see what the noise was about, so she fled from the room and shut the door behind her again, somewhat more forcefully.

Hurrying along, her bare feet padded against the cold tile of the hallway for what seemed like ages before she found the door she'd been wanting to walk through for the past three days. Whether her distance was off because of disorientation, sleepiness or just plain forgetfulness, she shrugged it off and entered this new hospital room.

Inside, it looked nearly identical to her own hospital room. The floor was the same plain tile, the walls the same bland white. But she could hear something significantly different, something that hummed and pumped every few seconds. Tiptoeing into the darkness, her eyes vaguely adjusted themselves until she could make out the bed of the room, with it's patient laying within. A silent gasp escaped her lips, the temperature around her dropping like a weight.

_"Taya..."_

Nestled beneath the blankets was the pale face of a rather feminine looking male. His long hair splayed itself across the pillow, a silky mixture of purple and blue. The blankets around him were pulled all around him, his face being the only noticeable thing in fact that Ruko could find of him buried within the mass of hospital equipment.

Stepping blindly towards the bed, she could see now the clear breathing mask muzzled over his face. She wouldn't say she was surprised to see it, more so that she was surprised he had kept it on.

_"Did they drug him or something...?"_

He looked so peaceful. Too peaceful for someone who had just gone through what he had. They must have done something, she thought to herself. Taya hated anything that had to do with taking drugs, even medicine. She thought of how it might anger him later on to know he was pumped with tranquilizers, but that seemed so far away from now. _Then_ was too far off to think about, she had to think of _now_.

Kneeling down beside the bed, Ruko managed to scoot her way through the medical supplies around the cot before finally looming over Taya's sleeping figure. She wanted him to know she was there, but was waking him the best choice? Well, if she even _could_ wake him, that was.

_"At least you're not a monster when you wake up..._" She thought to herself, comparing her own sleeping habits to his, _"It's another reason I love you so much..."_

Her fingers just barely grazed a few locks of hair on the top of his head, playing with the thin strands of ocean-like color before following her hand downward and stroking the top of his head gently. Her hand glided easily through Taya's hair, long and slick and beautiful. She had always admired the mysterious coloring to it and often compared her somewhat ivory based hair color to his own. It brought out a certain allure to him, that rich color.

Maybe that was one of the reasons they had got along so well when they first met. Well, among _other_ things, but she was too engrossed with this moment to think past everything else in mind.

Movement beneath the sheets gained Ruko's attention as she watched Taya's body seemingly twitch, a small noise coming from his throat before his eyes snapped open, startling her badly enough that she let go of him and nearly fell backwards. He seemed just as afraid as Ruko, if not more so. One of the nearby machines began to beep at an increasing speed.

_"Heart rate?"_

Pulling herself up off of the floor, Ruko was again on her knees and tried to calm the frightened boy. He lashed his hand out and tried to shove her away, his eyes wide and full of fear with his mouth open to scream beneath the breathing mask. The darkness of the room made it hard to distinguish who it was at his bedside but it didn't seem to matter to him who it was, he simply flailed and pushed and tried to make a sound, any sound, yet his throat felt dry and locked up tight.

"It's me!" Ruko whispered harshly, "It's Ruko! Stop moving around so much...! Taya, calm down, it's me!"

At the sound of her voice, he grew frozen and unable to move. His arms went stiff in the air and he didn't stir for a moment. Blinking wearily, his blurred vision could just make out the silhouette of short pigtails against the vague light from the windows.

"You just nearly knocked me out..." She attempted to joke before wrapping her hand around one of his wrists and pushing it gently back down onto the mattress while his other arm merely fell limply and dipped over the other side of the bed.

The constant beeping of the machine decreased steadily after that, but Ruko swore she could hear the breathing machine working overtime now. She didn't blame Taya for being high strung though after a moment like that.

"...Ruko..." The young man mouthed beneath the suddenly restricting mask. He was incredibly surprised to see her here, standing beside him with a small smile playing on her lips. He didn't think he would see her for...Well, certainly a much longer time than this.

Chuckling quietly, she reached over and again tangled her fingers in his hair, leaning down closer so that he could see her better. His sight was simply nothing without his monocle it seemed, something that had routinely been mocked at home before. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner...I wasn't able to leave the room...But y'know, if they don't find me, then they don't find me."

Ruko closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against Taya's, scaling her hand up the side of the bed and catching his hand with her tight grip. He didn't protest her doing so, and she took this as a good sign. He still said nothing beneath his mask, but his eyes said all that she needed to know. They grew glassy and a tear slipped down his cheek that she was quick to wipe away.

"Don't cry, I came to make you feel..." She paused, unsure of how to word her intentions. "...Better. I came to make you feel better."

_"But I know you won't be better for a long time..."_

Clutching his hand as tightly as she could without hurting him severely, Ruko gathered herself up and leaned against the side of the bed, resting her head beside Taya's as best she could and whispering sweet words to regain the calm that had been in the room when she'd first entered.

Drowsiness was overtaking her and eventually, with drooping eyes and the soft hum of the breathing machine in the background, Ruko dropped off into slumber with her lover laying at her side.

He refused to let her release his hand, even as she slept on, and made sure accordingly that they stayed connected until he too succumbed to resuming sleep.


	3. Murky

"You should wake up before they notice you're not in your room."

Something poked Ruko roughly in the back, arousing the girl from her slumber. The first thing she noticed was the kink her neck now possessed, but she deserved that for laying in such a strange position all night long. Turning to meet the offender of waking her, Ruko was surprised to see Tsubame, the butler with the long black hair whom had visited the previous day with everyone else.

Personally, Ruko wasn't friends with this man, but she was aware that Taya had worked with him many times in their large household in keeping it orderly. She was surprised not only by his being here, but also his being here so _early_. If the doctors and nurses here did not know she was gone yet then surely he must have come incredibly early.

How he had managed to bypass the visitor's time rules she could only guess. Simply looking him over, she wondered if perhaps he'd charmed his way in by the hand of some young woman working at a reception desk.

"You certainly were not keen on seeing us yesterday, and yet, you are more then happy to sneak off in the middle of the night for him, is that how it works?" Tsubame knelt down and offered his hand to her, helping her to stand. All the while, he noticed in the corner of his eye that she still held the bedridden male's hand with her other hand. Devotion at it's most apparent, he thought.

Ruko was less than impressed, unsure as to whether he was being witty or sarcastic. "Taya means more to me than you'll ever know. I'd keep my mouth shut about him."

Her eyes flickered back to the sleeping boy. Tightening her hand around his own, she felt unwilling to leave this room and go back to her own. She wanted to be here to keep him safe, to keep him from panicking, which she was sure he would do if he awoke to find her missing.

"Come, come, if they find you have escaped your bed then I feel they'll put in extra measures to make sure you don't leave again at all. I don't believe that is something that you want, now is it?"

"Shut up, bastard." She snapped, clearly angered. Now he just seemed to want a rise out of her. Now she understood why Taya had frequently tried to keep them apart. The man was regal, but the tone of his voice made every word that came out of his mouth sound like a snarky, insulting phrase.

Tsubame shook his head and reached for his pocket watch. Flicking it open and checking the time, he knew it would not be long before the morning room checks would lead to the discovery of a missing patient. "I'm only trying to help you. I apologize if I have offended you, but we are hard-pressed for time and I'd rather not need to explain as to why you have run off." He reached for her hand and tugged towards the door, but she wouldn't budge. He sighed, "You're not making this easy."

Ruko slapped his hand away, "I'm not _trying_ to make it easy. What are you doing here anyway? You don't seem like the kind of person who would visit anyone." Despite not knowing the older man as well as some of her other colleagues, she could easily tell that he wasn't someone who would something that was a waste of time.

He pocketed the watch and gave her an icy glare. "Taya is one of my closer friends, and I have come to see him. Perhaps you do not appreciate others wishing to help you in your time of need, but I'm certain that he would be much more accepting." His eyes trailed over the bed, skimming the figure of his fellow butler. He had been through an ordeal of some type that had yet to be disclosed to the rest of them. Deep down, he'd hoped that coming here would give him some answers, but clearly it seemed all that he would leave with was a newly created rival and a bad taste in his mouth.

"I don't need you're help, you bastard." Ruko slid her hand out of Taya's grasp and stood her ground, clenching her hands into tight fists and taking a stance between the bed and the man in front of her. "You can't just 'help' and make it all go away! You don't know what happened!"

"Then _tell_ me what happened." He demanded in a surly voice, "If you want so much for us to act appropriately then why will you not tell us what occurred? We can not read your thoughts and understand what it is you desire. Only if you speak of the incident will we be able to help you."

Soaking in his words for a moment, Ruko considered for a long moment as to whether or not she wanted to talk anymore about this. Part of her wanted to let it all pour out, to explain exactly what had happened and to ask for everyone to give her the support, the strength to move beyond this.

The majority of the conscious inside her, however, simply wished to stay as cold and blockaded as ever.

"I don't have anything to say to you."

Silence filled the air around them briefly before Tsubame sucked in his breath and shook his head. "You are making a mistake. But as I can not convince you to no longer bottle your silence, then I suppose I will wait until you see the foolishness of your mistake."

Turning on his heel, the now weary butler walked back towards the door. As he reached for the handle, he turned his head to glance behind momentarily. Ruko's eyes were now averted to gaze at the bed, not wishing to speak anymore with this intruder.

"...You will go back to your room before your time is up, yes?"

"...Mm." A vague nod was given to him, but she refused to look in his direction.

Quietly sighing, Tsubame walked out of the room and began walking down the hallway towards the entrance of the hospital. He had failed to extract the information that everyone back home had wanted to know so much. That information being why two of their friends were in the hospital in the first place, and specifically, why one of them was more damaged than the other. She will come around sooner or later though, he thought, because eventually they will find out one way or another by the time this all over. Didn't someone say something about going to court not too long ago?

Just as he was about to round the corner, Tsubame heard footsteps from down the hall behind him before turning around and spotting said girl rushing down the hallway to catch up with him. "Wait a second...!" She waved her hand in the air to stop him before making her way up to him and stopping within a few feet of the shorter of the two.

"There's something that I...want you to say to Rook..."

"Yes?"

With her bi-colored eyes firmly locked onto the quizzical gray eyes that seemed to glare subtly up at her, Ruko briefly swallowed her pride and managed to squeak out her request. "Tell Rook that I'm...Sorry about yesterday...For hurting him and all that..."

As much as he found it grateful to tell the boy, whom had been sulking at home ever since the incident, that there was an apology for his physical injuries, Tsubame wondered if she also meant to apologize for the other anguish she had possibly, unknowingly, inflicted.

"Is that all?"

"Yes, that's it."

"Are you sure about that?" He folded his arms to his chest and used the time to study her. Rook cared greatly for her and he obviously was upset to know that she didn't seem to trust him enough now to confide in him what had happened during the last few weeks. He had been the one constantly yelling and screaming for everyone to find her, to do whatever it took to locate her. It was him who had likely shed the most tears during her disappearance. Was she really too dense to notice such devotion.

"I already said yes, didn't I? That's all of it."

So.

That was it, wasn't it? She was more then willing to apologize for one thing and yet give her family the run-around, it seemed. But Tsubame was no longer in any mood to argue with her, and frankly, he wished to leave before any trouble began between himself and the workers now swarming the building. With a frank nod, he turned his back to her and disappeared behind the corner.

"I'll be sure to let him now how you feel."

Ruko stood where she was for a long time, her mind frozen into a cycle of thinking that seemed to only make her grow furious on the inside. If that...that _bastard_ had come here with good intentions in mind, then they either had failed to produce the right results, or they certainly hadn't been good to begin with. She'd already found a great distaste for him and wondered just how Taya had managed to put up with such a rude man.

It wasn't until a young nurse found Ruko standing with a blank expression on her face that she asked her why she was out of her room. She shook her head and mumbled something looking for a bathroom before the nurse lead her away without a clue as to the exchange that had just occurred.

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><p>Seated within the dining hall, at their ridiculously long table, Rook leaned back in his chair and guzzled down another cup of the strongest, blackest tea he had been able to find in the cabinets. He wasn't sure how many cups he had drunk previously, nor was he sure whether or not drinking so much was going to make him live in the bathroom for a few hours later on, but he didn't entirely seem to care.<p>

The only thoughts that filled his mind were of Ruko, Taya and the large, rubbery bandage that encircled his ankle multiple times over. He couldn't forget those eyes, _her_ eyes, piercing his own. Telling in their own way that she didn't want to speak to him, to anyone.

He could understand everyone else, but why not him? Why was it that she could not tell him the reason behind this entire mess? He had worried for her more than everyone else combined, he thought. He was the one she always turned to when she needed to ask advice, or spill a juicy secret out to. Why was this any different?

What had happened in those weeks?

Rook sipped the cup again and held his forehead, a headache beginning to come on. The front door suddenly shut with a loud echo rippling throughout the lower floor of the building. Tsubame entered the dining hall a few minutes later, his gaze brushing over the boy with the red streak in his hair.

"...I have just returned from the hospital." He stated bluntly.

Rook appeared to tense up before setting down the mug and giving Tsubame his full attention. "And...? What happened...?" His voice was calm, strangely enough.

"...She merely said she was sorry. For pushing you, that is."

He found himself somewhat saddened to watch the normally hyper and happy young man deflate in his chair and cast his eyes into the murky remains of the black tea.

"I apologize for upsetting you." Tsubame carefully worded, "Would you...care for another cup of tea?"

"...No. I'm done."

Lifting out of the chair, Rook padded slowly from the room while Tsubame watched. When the enormous room was empty save for himself, the butler walked to where the other had sat and picked up the mug with a glazed expression.

"The mystery thickens, doesn't it...? He spoke to no one in particular before walking to the edge of the room, turning out the lights and leaving the painfully empty room behind.


End file.
